The Rules... thus far

This is how the Braggers' League will work in the forthcoming season.

Each of the five West Midlands teams will play 8 local derbies (4 home and 4 away - see fixture list below)

As well as the normal points awarded for lose, draw or win, we're also going to have an opportunity to either acrue or lose additional points through two special Joker fixtures, as follows:

The We Hate Man U Big One- "Let's wind up Sir Alex and the Cockney faithful"- 6 pointer:

Your team's opportunity to gain an extra 3 points by beating the team that your smarmy southern workmate supports, i.e. Man U, either away or at home (so a potential 6 points if you beat them twice in the season - but draws and losses disregraded)

The Seaside Special - the game you Must Win or ...Drop Points - for one season only:

Yes it's the game that every club in the Premiership, other than Blackpool themselves, expects to win whilst enjoying a day out at the seaside for the fans into the bargain. But woe betide you if you drop 3 points by letting the seasiders do their business all over your knotted hankie. Yes, lose this one in the Prem and lose 3 points in the Braggers League into the bargain (draws and wins disregarded - this is all about the loss).

In addition, the following bonus points will be awarded or deducted (some at our discretion - though impartiality assured):

Lose 1 point for a manager's embarrassing rant concerning a derby match that makes it as a major talking point on the Alan Brazil breakfast show, Daz Hale, Tom Ross or Match of the Day, etc. (we will try to treat Wolves with some leniancy if it gets too silly).

Gain 1 extra point For any crushing victory of the nature of a 4 goal win or more, i.e. 4-0, 5-1 etc. in a local derby match

Lose 1 point for any sending off (ideally we'd like to see toys thrown out the pram though not mandatory) in a local derby

Lose 1 point for an embarrassing penalty miss or a goalkeeping error of significant comedy value in a local derby (anything that ends up as a popular You Tube clip would be perfect)

Gain 1 extra point for a witty or clever fan chant, tease, activity or banner that gains the notice of the media (needs to be evidenced) in or close to a derby game

Gain 1 extra point for any non-violent fan, player or manager intervention which seriously winds up either Sir Alex Ferguson or Arsen Wenger to the point that they comment about it in very angry terms to camera after the game (restricted to Man U and Arsenal matches). The funnier Wenger or Ferguson come across the better.

Lose a point for any significant demonstration of empty seats ("you must have come in a taxi" syndrome) at any local derby game (needs to be evidenced - Match of the Day etc)

Club who charges away fans most money in their derby home games over the course of the season will be docked 1 point

Club that goes furthest in both cup competitions gains an extra point per competition

Any club that gets knocked out of a cup competition by a lower league team gets docked a point, 2 points if it's by Coventry and 3 points if it's by Walsall, Port Vale or any other West Midlands club of the lower tiers

Any significant display of vuvuzela playing by fans at any local derby will be docked a point

All international appearances for any national side earns a point (but must enter the field of play - no bench warmers) - first team appearances only.

Highest transfer fee paid by one of the five teams during either transfer window earns a point (1 point each for summer 2010 and January 2011 windows).

A manager sacking during the season drops 5 points.

Gain a point for any instance of a player getting the ball into the back of the net from a throw in, even if it is disallowed

Any outstandingly impressive public display of support by a celebrity fan for their team (for instance inappropriately wearing their team shirt or colours in a non footballing high profile event) will gain a point

Any team that brings out a new squad song involving the players singing, at any point in the season will be docked 5 points for extraordinary ignorance of the fact that history shows us it's always hideous

This list may be added to before the start of the season, though won't be altered after the season begins. We will need clear and convincing evidence to support all claims for bonus points.

Good luck.
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