Blatter accuses English of arrogance after his great Zurich stitch-up

The Yodeling Empress, Queen Sepp

Fifa President Septic Blabber has accused the English World Cup 2018 bid team of arrogance following widespread condemnation of the way the voting process was manipulated by Blabber and his cronies. (Ahh, that's a relief, we thought Fifa were cross about the flare at the Blues Villa match) 

Blabber told Swiss magazine Weltwoche ("who are yer?"): "To be honest, I was surprised by all the English complaining after the defeat. England, of all people, the motherland of fair play ideas.

(Well why the surprise then because that's exactly why we're complaining Sepp ...the absence of fair play)

"Now some of them are showing themselves to be bad losers. You can't come afterwards and say so and so promised to vote for England. The results are known. The outcome came out clearly.


"I really sense in some reactions a bit of the arrogance of the western world of Christian background. Some simply can't bear it if others get a chance for a change.

(Did I miss something? And when did religion come into all this?) 

Blabber went on:

"What can be wrong if we start football in regions where this sport demonstrates a potential which goes far beyond sport?"

(Good point, it just would have been nice to know that particular criteria before we threw 15 million plus pounds at our bid Sepp).

(Can we not do him in the small claims court?)

Blabber also rejected claims that FIFA is corrupt, even though two members of football's governing body were suspended after an investigation by the Sunday Times alleged they had offered to sell their votes.

"There is no systematic corruption in FIFA. That is nonsense. We are financially clean and clear."

Blabber did however concede:


"We need to improve our image. We also need to clarify some things within FIFA".

(You don't say?)

It has been revealed that the two winning bids, Qatar and Russia, were both given poor technical reports. England's bid chief Andy Anson has also suggested Blabber had instructed his members not to vote for the England bid following stories about FIFA corruption which appeared in the British media. England's team was also disappointed that votes promised to them failed to materialise.


Sepp Blabber, who was once the president of the World Society Of The Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspender belts with pantyhose in the 1970s, is now said to have his eye on China and India in his quest to personally conquer the world.


It is not known if Fifa vice-president Jack Warner prefers stockings or pantyhose, but he is known to do a good impression of Dixon of Dock Green at Fifa Christmas parties.

"Evenin' all"

Warner keeps his eye on one of his unusually large balls whilst Blabber

fleetingly day dreams about the inside of the Anne Summers' store on Zurich High Street

The campaign to ditch these incompetent, paranoid clowns starts here.

Boycott Fifa. Keep it local.