Villa announce incentive scheme to get new fans

Aston Villa have launched an incentive scheme to encourage season ticket holders like myself to recruit new fans.

Villa will be giving tokens to all season ticket holders who book seats for non-season ticket holders between now and the end of the season.

The official Villa website says that the scheme should help to fill the ground and raise the atmosphere.

But I've got an even better idea...

...why don't we ask the rich over-paid players to actually play a little bit bloody better? That might bring in a few new fans.

Snow stops play in Black Country dingle-dong

Wolves hard man Mick McCarthy was seething today after officials and public safety experts at The Hawthorns called off this afternoon's big Black Country derby with Sandwell rivals, the Baggies.

With an opportunity to go top of the Braggers League had Wolves beaten West Brom, McCarthy was observed storming into the Albion dressing room where players were drinking Bovril and holding Baggy Bird hot water bottles.

"I don't know what's up wi' footballers these days" big Mick was heard to fume. "You're nowt but wimps. In my day we were sent out trainin' over t' moor in just our underpants and bare feet as like. Nowt a rub down with a bottle of embrication couldn't sort out, son".

McCarthy then challenged Albion boss Roberto di Matteo to a snow ball fight. In spite of being born in Switzerland, the Italian manager only lasted 3 minutes in the freezing cold as McCarthy pelted him with snow balls.

As di Matteo was seen heading back towards his personal dressing room, wiping away the snow as he made his escape, McCarthy was heard to shout:

"Well we bloody well won that one sunshine!"

     

Stoke stay top as Brummers clash with Yammers in double trouble weekend

In spite of being beaten at home by Blackpool this weekend, it's no change for Stoke who remain at the top of the Braggers' League after a double of derbies between Brummagem and the Black Country this weekend.

Villa fought hard yesterday at Villa Park to secure a 2-1 victory over Albion with Villa goals from Downing and Heskey and Albion's from Paul Scharner.

Wolves beat Blues 1-0 today at Molinuex with the game's only goal from Stephen Hunt.

Today's results mean that Blues remain fixed to the bottom of the Bragger's League have lost 3 of their local derbies this season and drawn only one.

Villa and Wolves climb up the Braggers' League in chase of Stoke.
  
    

Blatter accuses English of arrogance after his great Zurich stitch-up

The Yodeling Empress, Queen Sepp

Fifa President Septic Blabber has accused the English World Cup 2018 bid team of arrogance following widespread condemnation of the way the voting process was manipulated by Blabber and his cronies. (Ahh, that's a relief, we thought Fifa were cross about the flare at the Blues Villa match) 

Blabber told Swiss magazine Weltwoche ("who are yer?"): "To be honest, I was surprised by all the English complaining after the defeat. England, of all people, the motherland of fair play ideas.

(Well why the surprise then because that's exactly why we're complaining Sepp ...the absence of fair play)

"Now some of them are showing themselves to be bad losers. You can't come afterwards and say so and so promised to vote for England. The results are known. The outcome came out clearly.


"I really sense in some reactions a bit of the arrogance of the western world of Christian background. Some simply can't bear it if others get a chance for a change.

(Did I miss something? And when did religion come into all this?) 

Blabber went on:

"What can be wrong if we start football in regions where this sport demonstrates a potential which goes far beyond sport?"

(Good point, it just would have been nice to know that particular criteria before we threw 15 million plus pounds at our bid Sepp).

(Can we not do him in the small claims court?)

Blabber also rejected claims that FIFA is corrupt, even though two members of football's governing body were suspended after an investigation by the Sunday Times alleged they had offered to sell their votes.

"There is no systematic corruption in FIFA. That is nonsense. We are financially clean and clear."

Blabber did however concede:


"We need to improve our image. We also need to clarify some things within FIFA".

(You don't say?)

It has been revealed that the two winning bids, Qatar and Russia, were both given poor technical reports. England's bid chief Andy Anson has also suggested Blabber had instructed his members not to vote for the England bid following stories about FIFA corruption which appeared in the British media. England's team was also disappointed that votes promised to them failed to materialise.


Sepp Blabber, who was once the president of the World Society Of The Friends of Suspenders, an organisation which tried to stop women replacing suspender belts with pantyhose in the 1970s, is now said to have his eye on China and India in his quest to personally conquer the world.


It is not known if Fifa vice-president Jack Warner prefers stockings or pantyhose, but he is known to do a good impression of Dixon of Dock Green at Fifa Christmas parties.

"Evenin' all"

Warner keeps his eye on one of his unusually large balls whilst Blabber

fleetingly day dreams about the inside of the Anne Summers' store on Zurich High Street

The campaign to ditch these incompetent, paranoid clowns starts here.

Boycott Fifa. Keep it local.

Blues v Villa tonight - but will it be a thriller or a chiller?

Birmingham City take on Aston Villa at St Andrew's this evening in the quarter final of the Carling Cup, but a game which should be a fantastic local derby thriller could also be a chiller as the snow continues to come down and temperatures remain low.

Blues boss Alex McLeish believes that the home fans could play a big role in terms of spurring on the boys in blue and has been talking up memories of their 3-0 triumph over Villa when Blues returned to the top flight 8 years ago. He was not managing Blues back then but was apparently present at the game.

But 3-0 may be rather ambitious for either side who are both lacking consistent strike power up-front at the moment so McLeish may be hoping for an early goal and then to bolt the doors up at the back for the remainder of the match as they did when they beat Chelsea recently. If this were to happen, Villa could find it very difficult to break through.



Birmingham's legendary Scarf Lady says
"wrap up warm tonight me babs"

 Having said this, Agbonlahor is set to return to the Villa side after a period of illness and could be the vital factor in the game, as he has been in recent derbies between the two sides. Ex-Villa players Craig Gardner and Liam Ridgewell will also have points to prove if they play.

I see this one as being a tighly fought contest in difficult environmental conditions and could even go to penalties, in which case it will be anyone's to win.

I am going to St Andrew's tonight with my two sons so we are very excited about the match and fingers crossed the weather conditions don't stop play. The great thing about the Villa Blues rivalry is that the city is not split geographically or religiously as it is in certain UK cities, so my family and workplace are fairly evenly split and the banter is fantastic and very good humoured.

But either way, someone has to win tonight because it's a cup match, so no goaless draws on this one and whatever transpires, someone is guaranteed Braggers' Rights!

Editor's note:

Incidentally, in spite of my original intentions for this website, the Braggers' League table is purely based upon the results of the Premiership derbies, anything else would have been too complicated and introduced the possibility of bias from me as a Villa fan (as if!!) So this match is purely for pride and a place in the semi finals of the Carling cup.

But mainly pride.